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I have a pin. I bear it proudly on my desk, and often take it with
me when I go out gaming. It has a bright orange background
(the better to make it more noticeable), and big, bold letters that
proudly state "NEVER trust a smiling GM."
When I GM, I smile a lot.
Sometimes, though, GMs are subtler than that. So, for your
playing protection, I’ve come up with this list (it is also good for
GMs who are starting to get muscle cramps from smiling too
much).
Here it is, in big, bold letters!
Top Ten Ways to Figure out your GM has it in for You*
*If you find my normal font too small to read, please let me know, I will make it all this size.
- He passes everyone twenty character sheets - but you’re all only playing one character each.
- He says "Wait a second, I don’t have enough dice to roll up
this thing’s hit points" after dumping out his bag of a hundred dice.
- Or, it hits you without him having to roll a die.
- He starts taking wagers on whether or not the party will
make it through alive.
- He changes his name to Stephen King, or Dean Koontz.
- Your party’s only guide (an NPC) through the deadly no-man’s land’s name is Hannibal, or Donner.
- The GM says "Wait . . . you won’t believe this roll!" for the
fiftieth time that night.
- The dinkiest evil critters start wearing suits with a big red S
on them, and leaping tall buildings in a single bound, while
running faster than a speeding bullet.
- Before the game, he gives each of the players his
condolences.
And, the number one way to tell your GM has it in for you:
- He asks "What do you want on your Tombstone?" . . . but
you’re not having pizza that night.
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